Chelsea Artim

I've been pregnant seven times. You read that number right. Every single one was very much wanted and planned for. My husband and I both had fantastic jobs in biotech, insurance, owned our home, and were super healthy. My very first pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage. Thats when the body doesn't realize the fetal heart has stopped beating. At 8 weeks, a faint heartbeat was detected, and my midwife encouraged me to terminate. I said, “abortion isn't for me.” It's still true even after what I'm about to tell you. I'd have to be in really dire straits to willfully terminate a pregnancy. I pressed on. At 10 weeks, the ultrasound showed the heart had stopped beating. The MFM sent me to an OBGYN so I could start misoprostol to induce a miscarriage. She sent me home and told me “it won't be pleasant, but you look like you can handle it.” I took enough misoprostol that night to induce a cow. Nothing happened. I went to sleep and at 11PM, I was awakened to terrible cramping. I've since given birth to 3 babies at home without pain management and can tell you the cramps were on par with early active labor. These were a bit different in that they built upon one another without any rhyme or reason, and then they'd relax. Off and on all night. But there was still no bleeding. I did this for a few days, and finally sent my husband to work because he didn't have unlimited PTO. My husband went to work. This particular week he was in a clean room, so he had no access to a phone. My parents are 14 hours away, and his step-mother assured him she'd be there if I needed anything. Spoiler: she wasn't. The bleeding finally started. Except this wasn't a heavy period. The blood was coming so fast, it sounded like I was peeing. Every time I'd stand up, blood would sling across the bathroom. As the clots were forming, I would get very nauseas. When they'd pass, they were the size of two softballs. I started feeling lightheaded and called my husband. No answer. I called his step-mom. No answer. Finally, I called my own mom figuring if I passed out, she could at least call for an EMT and lessen any brain damage. The bleeding and hemorrhaging went off and on for 56 days. 8 weeks. My midwife wouldn't send me for a scan because I didn't want a D&C and the OBGYN didn't like that I was referring to my usual CNM. Finally, my husband was home one night during a hemorrhage and he took me to the ER. We discovered that the embryo never passed and was lodged in my cervix. They removed the calcified embryo with bullet forceps. I hemorrhaged again that night, clogging the hospital toilets with clots and filling two industrial-sized trash bags with wipes, toilet paper, and puppy papers within about two hours of being discharged. Fast forward two more pregnancies, and I finally have a baby and had another missed miscarriage. The misoprostol wasn't working, and I couldn't imagine going through all that with a toddler to care for. On the verge of sepsis, I opted for a D&C. Wouldn't you know - those get coded as ABORTIONS. I was just as shocked when the bill arrived in our mailbox. An “abortion” isn't really a thing you can ban because it's an umbrella term for any time a pregnancy ends before 20 weeks - an abortion doesn't imply anything other than the pregnancy ended and it didn't result in a baby. For example, if you have a miscarriage, it's technically a spontaneous abortion. A D&C and misoprostol are two types of procedures to *complete* an abortion, also known as emptying the uterus of the products of conception. It's the same procedures whether you've had a miscarriage, were raped, or have found out your baby is going to die a painful death within 3 hours of being born. It's' the same procedure if you've had a molar pregnancy - where no baby would've ever grown. There's no difference; however, when you restrict *abortion* in an effort to lessen "convenience" abortions, you're also looping in all these other people who might die. It is unacceptable, in my view, that New Hampshire is the only New England state in which there are no protections for women's healthcare. If you restrict abortion, my children may grow up without a mother. If you restrict abortion, women will be forced to watch their newborn die painfully in their arms within moments of birth. That is the ultimate cruelty. Partial-birth abortions simply do not exist. We've got to stop fearmongering and accept when it's time to stay in our lanes. If you didn't know that missed miscarriages exist OR that the outcome could be as severe as I just described, maybe you shouldn't be making laws on how to treat them, either?