Karen White

Submitting this on behalf of a friend. Name redacted for fear of repercussions from a family court judge. Good afternoon.  I am currently waiting for final orders from the family court system. I come before you today fearful of potential repercussions for speaking out, but I am passionate about what I have to say. I pray that by sharing my unfortunate and negative experience, I can resonate with legislators, residents of New Hampshire, and fellow parents. I stand in full support of this bill and its goal to address what is not working, to create something new—something that can and will be better if we continue to work hard for it. As a state, we can and must do better for the next generation. After spending the last year in family court, I have become all too familiar with its flaws. I have worked with countless people who are trying to do the right thing, but who have been ignored and dismissed. The current system, instead of helping, often deepens the wounds of children and families who are already struggling—families like mine. Family courts should be spaces for resolution, but too often, they fuel anger, escalate conflict, and make things worse. While they claim to prioritize the well-being of children, their actions and inactions speak otherwise. Instead of fostering collaboration, they create division. I have worked tirelessly with DCYF, our GAL, my lawyer and the family court to follow every recommendation given to me—yet without receiving a single support service for myself or my family. Despite having an unfounded case with reasonable concerns through DCYF, a GAL’s preliminary and final reports in my favor, and no police investigation, I still find myself without any residential responsibility or parental rights and responsibilities for my oldest son. And I continue to be without them today. Mediation and working together as parents should be the first step in resolving conflicts. Courts need to foster an environment where parents can make joint decisions and co-parent effectively for the sake of their children. However, when parents are forced to endure over a year in court, spending tens of thousands of dollars fighting for their children, with no resolution in sight, the possibility of true collaboration becomes a distant dream. I know firsthand that, after the trauma this system has caused, returning to a healthy co-parenting situation will not be easy and may never be possible. It will also fail to address the lifelong traumatic experiences of my 8- and 10-year-old children. The secrecy, malicious intentions and pain cannot be erased or overcome without apologies, honesty, and a willingness of both parties to rebuild and heal. We can no longer accept a system that prolongs pain, exacerbates tension, and subjects our children to emotional turmoil through endless conflict. We need a shift—a system that emphasizes cooperation, mediation, and resolution over division, anger, and protracted battles. For the sake of our children and families, we must do better. I believe this bill has the potential to make that change, and I hope that one day, my children will see that I stood before you all today, fighting for a better future for them and one I can be proud of. Thank you for your time and this opportunity.